Par Lydia Morrish

Vaginas are just great, aren't they? They can spawn babies, have periods, be sexy and make bread. And unlike what you've known so far about fannies, they can also make beer taste better.

Polish brewery The Order of Yoni (yoni literally means "vagina" or "womb" in Sanskrit) is taking the craft beer craze a little too far, producing "The First Vaginal Beer: Bottled Instinct." Before you get all disturbed, there's not an actual pussy in the beer, but vaginal lactic acid bacteria.

(Screenshot: The Order of Yoni/IndieGoGo)

(Screenshot: The Order of Yoni/IndieGoGo)

It's not just any old vagina's bacterial content however. Claiming to make "beer containing a quintessence of femininity," the brewery's IndieGoGo page promises this perfectly objectified bev is infused with the bits of a "unique woman," which is isolated, examined and prepared in a laboratory, "using hi-tech of microbiology."

The fundraising campaign is smothered in photos of various models, who, according to the company, provide The Order of Yoni beers with "allure, grace, glamour, and her instincts" (from their vaginal bacteria), which turn the beers "into a dance with lovely angel [sic]."

According to the company, one of the main models who donates her pussy ~grace~ is Czech model Alexandra Brendlova. They say:


"That is a kind of a female whose pheromones will stay with you after the meeting for the following week long. That kind of a woman whose voice you wait expectantly to hear in your favourite piece of music, whose face you visualise every time you close your eyes. The woman whose silhouette you recognise in the outline of the clouds.

"It's total insanity and excitement reminding you of the best time of your youth, your first love, first kiss, first sexual experience... This insanity will overwhelm your mind with the first taste of our beer."


What's great about The Order of Yoni is that not only do they put women's body parts on an objectified pedestal, but they also imply all beer-drinkers are straight men. Totes progressive!

(Screenshot: The Order of Yoni/IndieGoGo)

Great or grim? (Screenshot: The Order of Yoni/IndieGoGo)

The company promises by the time the beer hits anyone's lips, it is completely safe and free of harmful vaginal viruses of sorts – the brewery states:


"The procedures of isolation and preparation prevent other bacteria and viruses from surviving, providing the final product clean and healthy. In addition, we examine the final product on presence of other viruses and bacteria, the findings will be published on our website to make you completely sure it’s healthy."


We haven't had it confirmed yet as to whether the brand is an acidic April Fool's prank, just backed by misogynistic beer-and-vagina-lovers or a revolutionary product capitalising on the salivating benefits of infusing lager with pussy.

And yet, it's laughable at what a bad time the bevvy brand has arrived – claiming “the beer is a tribute to our mothers and a tribute to the act of childbirth" doesn't really counter the fact The Order of Yoni is using scantily clad women and disrespectful slogans to sell brews.

Read More - > Vaginal discharge is a thing, get over it