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Learn All About Penises In This New NSFW "Dickumentary"

Did you know the owner of the animal kingdom's largest penis is the Argentine lake duck? (It's got a 17-inch long baby-maker). Did you know men in Varanasi in India actually break and stretch their penises? There are many weird (and wonderful) things we don't know about the phallus.

A new documentary sends some pretty penis-inspired knowledge flying your way. With the most suitable name anything has ever had, The Dickumentary: A Short History Of The Penis you'll be in a world of facts, though not ones suitable for the dinner table.

Two men 'surfing' a penis. We don't know why. (Photo:  Imgur)

Two men 'surfing' a penis. We don't know why. (Photo: Imgur)

Getting a close look at the biology and evolution of penises, filmmaker Sofian Khan learned a lot himself while making the movie. From more than 50 experts in 14 countries, he trips around the world to find out the significance of the penis, its cultural and religious relevance and what it means to be a member in the phallus club.

The Atlantic just released a video clip from the documentary, where you'll learn why mammals have penises. Bed bugs have evolved a "stabbing penis" which indents its way through the female's exoskeleton to mate, and you'll be enthused to know that the barnacle has a penis nine times its own length, and it can actually shed it every year.

You already knew penises come in a whole world of different varieties – spiraled, small, large and with elbows, but what they all have in common is how they form erections. It's quite sweet really – all of the animal kingdom's (including us) gold-members are actually united.

Khan discovered the ancient Greeks actually preferred smaller penises as more aesthetically pleasing. He said in an interview with NY Post:

 

“The ancient Greeks actually thought that a smaller penis was preferable, for aesthetic reasons, but also because they believed a man’s seed had less distance to travel to reach a woman’s ovum. So it meant your offspring would be superior. Finding that out was one of those moments that challenges an assumption.”

 

Want to find out even more about those eggplant emojis – sorry fertility rockets? The phallic film is available on iTunes now.

Read More >>> Ladies, Get To Know Your Vagina With These Anatomically Correct Undies

Part time puncess. Pitches, tips and nudes to lydia.morrish@konbini.com