Keeping Up With The Trumps, S1, Ep13: Trump Says The Darndest Things

As Trump approaches the 100-day mark as president, his administration scrambles to get a win on the legislative scoreboard. Any win, in fact. To do so, he's planning a government shutdown to strong arm a repeal of Obamacare, and to pass a budget that would finance the building of a border wall.

It's going to be a messy week, but first, here’s what happened this past week on the presidential 'reality show' we like to refer to as Keeping Up with the Trumps...

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(Photo: Fred Watkins/Getty Images)

Keeping Up With The Trumps, S1, Ep13

The saber-rattling between North Korea and the U.S. intensified, culminating on Saturday with a failed missile test inside the "hermit kingdom."

Though Pyongyang’s missile blew up within seconds after launch, the test confirms North Korea’s commitment to a long-range nuclear missile program, as well as demonstrating their total disregard for Trump’s military posturing. Trump warned North Korea, telling Fox Business:

"We are sending an armada, very powerful. We have submarines, very powerful. Far more powerful than the aircraft carrier."

Press Secretary Sean Spicer confirmed warships were on their way, saying, "I think when you see a carrier group steaming into an area like that, the forward presence of that is clearly, through almost every instance, a huge deterrence."

Turns out these White House claims were bogus. On Tuesday, The New York Times reported that the USS Carl Vinson strike group was 3,500 miles away from Korea, traveling in the opposite direction towards the Indian Ocean, to partake in joint exercises with the Australian Navy.

No problem. Trump sent, in place of warships, something far more intimidating – he sent Vice President Mike Pence’s face. Pence’s steely gaze alone could make a dictator wet his pajamas. That must have been, in any case, the intention for Pence’s visit to the Korean peninsula’s Demilitarized Zone on Monday.

A staring contest, between Pence and the North Korean army, ensued. Turns out the only winner of that contest was the internet, with photos of the event going viral on social media.

South Korea, however, is not convinced by Trump’s strong-arm policy of Pyongyang. According to Hong Joon-pyo, who is running for president of South Korea, "What [Trump] said was very important for the national security of South Korea. If that was a lie, then during Trump’s term, South Korea will not trust whatever Trump says."

Trump even managed to piss off our South Korean allies when, after meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping, told the Wall Street Journal, "Korea actually used to be a part of China."

The South Korean Foreign Ministry quickly corrected the President, saying, "Throughout the thousands of years of relations, Korea has never been part of China, and this is a historical fact that is recognized internationally and something no one can deny."

It wasn’t all fire and brimstone for Trump this week, as he found time to host the New England Patriots at the White House to celebrate their Super Bowl win.

But things turned sour on Wednesday after The New York Times compared a 2015 photo of the Patriots standing with Obama, with the current photo showing noticeably fewer people standing with Trump.

The Patriots responded by tweeting that the football staff chose to sit on the south lawn for this photo, instead of standing on the stairway, as they did in the Obama photo. Trump took the opportunity to accuse the Times of being caught in a "big lie."

Also on Wednesday, Trump invited Sarah Palin, Kid Rock and Ted Nugent to dine at the White House. In a blog post, Palin wrote "Asked why I invited Kid Rock and Ted Nugent I joked, 'Because Jesus was booked.'"

The white trash takeover of the White House made the place look more like a White Castle. Social media reacted strongly to photos of the "redneck holy trinity" mocking a portrait of Hillary Clinton, with many calling the behavior "disrespectful."

On Tuesday, we found out that Ivanka Trump had scored provisional approval for three new trademarks for her Trump branded jewelry, bags and spa services in China.

Critics, however, are crying foul, because the Chinese government granted the trademarks on April 6, the same day Ivanka and husband Jared Kushner dined at Mar-a-Lago with the Chinese President. Coincidence?

Former White House ethics lawyer Richard Painter told the Associated Press that Ivanka Trump should "Put the business on hold and stop trying to get trademarks while you’re in government."

There’s no doubt that the White House can be used to turn a huge profit. A report by the Associated Press on Wednesday showed that on February 9, the day Kellyanne Conway told television viewers to "Go buy Ivanka’s stuff," sales of Ivanka Trump merchandise jumped 10,700% over the previous year.

Read More -> Keeping Up With The Trumps, S1, Ep12: The Fog Machine Of War