Keeping Up With The Trumps, S1, Ep12: The Fog Machine Of War

This week’s episode of Keeping Up with the Trumps features so many plot twists and reversals it will make your head spin...

As the drums of war beat, thousands take to the streets demanding Trump reveal his tax returns. Attorney General Jeff Sessions reboots the racist war on drugs. Rex Tillerson meets with Vladimir Putin and Steve Bannon is put on notice, ordered by Trump to "work it out" with rival Jared Kushner, and so on.


(Photo: Fred Watkins/Getty Images)

Keeping Up With The Trumps, S1, Ep12

After botching the first ten weeks, which included a disastrous travel ban, failed health care reform and allegations of Russian collusion, it appears the Trump administration has finally found its footing – casting Donald Trump as 'war president.'

At least the media, who are praising Trump’s turn as 'world cop,' thinks so. Donald Trump, it turns out, is a natural for this gig.

All his thin-skinned Twitter-happy impulsiveness is readily transferable to military aggression, played out on a world stage. Like a school boy playing with firecrackers, Trump gets giddy at the prospect of blowing shit up.

"We've just fired 59 missiles," Trump told President Xi Jinping during dinner at Mar-a-Lago, "all of which hit, by the way, unbelievable, from, you know, hundreds of miles away, amazing ... so incredible. It's brilliant. It's genius."

Trump and Xi bonded that evening over missiles and the "most beautiful piece of chocolate cake you've ever seen," as he told Maria Bartiromo on Fox Business Networks.

To seal the newly minted bromance, Trump announced on Wednesday that his administration will not label China a currency manipulator – a sharp reversal from his campaign rhetoric accusing China of devaluing its currency and dumping cheap products onto the U.S. market.

According to Donald Trump’s son Eric Trump, the decision to bomb Syria is due to the softening influence of Ivanka Trump, who was "heartbroken and outraged" by the nerve gas attack in Syria.

Eric Trump told The Telegraph: "Ivanka is a mother of three kids and she has influence. I’m sure she said 'listen, this is horrible stuff.; My father will act in times like that." Eric also inadvertently hinted at another possible motive behind the missile strike, saying, "If there was anything that Syria did, it was to validate the fact that there is no Russia tie."

This so-called 'validation,' however, is negated by the fact that Trump warned Russia of the impending attack, before proceeding with it.

Eric Trump (image from Youtube)

Eric Trump ( from Youtube/CBS This Morning)

Bolstered by the success of his Syrian strike, Trump on Thursday gave the go-ahead to drop the 'mother of all bombs' on Afghanistan. The MOAB, largest non-nuclear bomb in the U.S. arsenal, reportedly killed 94 ISIS militants.

In addition, Trump has ordered a U.S. naval strike group towards the troubled waters off of North Korea. And to top off a week of reversals, Trump, who during the presidential campaign said NATO was obsolete, now tells the media, "I said it was obsolete. It’s no longer obsolete."

Trump’s big switch from isolationism to interventionism has got many of his supporters crying foul. They want to know what happened to his 'America first; platform. No one can predict Trump’s thinking, but Hunter S. Thompson, in Fear and Loathing  On the Campaign Trail '72, offers this bit of wisdom:

"The main problem in any democracy is that crowd-pleasers are generally brainless swine who can go out on a stage and whip their supporters into an orgiastic frenzy – then go back to the office and sell every one of the poor bastards down the tube for a nickel apiece."

At a White House press conference on the Syrian crisis, press secretary Sean Spicer was stricken by a serious case of foot-in-mouth disease. In comparing Assad to Hitler, Spicer said, "You had someone as despicable as Hitler who didn’t even sink to using chemical weapons." Hitler, of course, killed over six million people with poison gas.

Later, on CNN, Spicer apologized for his remarks, saying he mistakenly used "an inappropriate, insensitive reference to the Holocaust," adding, "It was a blunder." But the damage was done.


Sean Spicer (Photo: Alex Brandon/Associated Press)

While the media was distracted by the fog machine of war, a number of heinous bills were passed by Congress and the executive branch.

On April 10, Trump signed a congressional agreement allowing for the killing of wolves and bears in Alaska, including hibernating animals and their pups.

On April 13th, Trump signed a bill allowing states to withhold federal money from abortion providers like Planned Parenthood, who also provide services such as cancer screening, STI treatment and cervical exams.

And while Trump was bombing Syria, the "most dangerous bill you never heard of" was passed by the House of Representatives. Called the REINS Act, this bill requires any future regulation adopted by an Executive Agency to be adopted within 70 days or be canceled, seriously hampering any attempts at regulating food safety, pollution, net neutrality, etc.

Read More -> Keeping Up With The Trumps, S1, Ep11: Trump Goes Ballistic