So, it turns out you can get cocaine delivered to your door quicker than you could a takeaway pizza, a study on international drug use has discovered.
The research, which surveyed 130,000 drug users across 44 countries, found that more than a third of people could get coke delivered within half an hour, faster than it'd be to get a nice margarita.
Around the world, 30.3% of the 15,000 cocaine users questioned for the 2018 Global Drug Survey were confident they could get their hands on some lines within 30 minutes.
This is compared with just 16.5% saying they could get a pizza delivered in the same time.
"Speedy home shopping delivery is part of our lives and represents the expansion and sophistication of retail markets around the world," its authors write.
"It's not surprising that the next customer service upgrade was going to be the growth of sophisticated and rapid drug delivery services in many of our big cities."
"And in many major cities, you really can get cocaine quicker than pizza."
According to their cocaine-pizza map, same-day delivery is "the norm" and the fastest coke delivery is in Brazil, the Netherlands, Denmark, Colombia, Scotland, England and the Czech Republic.
In all seven countries, over half of participants said they could score cocaine in under 30 minutes and 45% of Brazilians said it took less than half an hour.
The report explains how reducing the time between purchase and delivery reinforces shopping habits, "just like taking drugs – the quicker the onset of effect after consumption, the more addictive."
"The idea that you'd like to use drugs just arrives in the head (with cocaine often preceded by a few drinks) – and that desire is one that aims to be sorted immediately!"
Dealers are competing for customers through quality and speed of delivery, the study claims – using everything from darknet markets, Whatsapp and local post services to get drugs to your door.
Can’t help thinking if we were @VICEUK we’d currently be ordering some cocaine and a takeaway pizza to test this assertion— Jess Brammar (@jessbrammar) May 9, 2018
It warns that the easy access and higher purity was "likely to lead to escalating use and harms among people, with links to escalating rates of crime and violence."
Drug users in the UK were found to consume the second highest amount of cocaine in a single session (0.7g), beaten only by Scotland on the global scale.
Global Drug Survey is a research firm that "explores the positives and negatives of drug use".
Their aim is to use the findings as part of educational materials for health professionals and policies – alongside creating "harm reduction resources and anonymous, confidential self-assessment tools."